A little bit about my story…
I’m not sure when exactly it was that I started believing I wasn’t enough…that I wasn’t acceptable the way I was…that I had to do more in order to be more…as if doing more would help me become good enough to be accepted.
But somewhere between getting picked last for tee-ball in grade 1 gym class and getting prank called by the popular, designer-clad girls of Grade 6, I bought right in – bought right in to my not enough-ness.
The tee-ball captains knew it.
The popular girls knew it.
And I knew it.
And so my life kind of became a series of attempts to fit in.
In high school, I strategically made friends with people who were a few rungs higher on the social ladder than I was. I laughed off insults so no one would know how much it hurt. I did the things I thought would make me more accepted.
Mercifully, high school eventually ends for all of us. But even after it did, my sense of shame remained.
I was still not enough. Not enough for others and certainly not enough for God.
As an adult, my desire to be enough has taken many forms. It has looked like:
- Trying to look the right way, say and do all the right things
- Feeling like I need to keep my faults hidden from others
- Trying to check off all my “Christian to-dos” but doing everything out of a sense of joyless duty
- Being over-committed and exhausted in my attempts to live the well-balanced life
- Going to bed at night with a sense of failure of all that I didn’t accomplish that day
- Dreading each new day with the sense of heaviness and expectation it brought
- Never feeling like I was doing enough
- Never feeling like I was enough
- Never feeling acceptable or accepted.
Any of this sounding familiar?
A little bit about this site…
This site is about uncovering the truth of what God really says about who we are. It’s about recognizing that what we believe about our not enough-ness is simply not true in Christ. It’s about accepting what God says and living as if it’s really true. It’s about realizing that in Jesus Christ:
- We are more loved than we will ever comprehend (Ephesians 3:17-19)
- We are as wholeheartedly accepted as we could ever possibly be (Ephesians 1:6)
- We are complete in Him so we can cease our striving to be enough (Colossians 2:9-10).
Take a big, heaving sigh of relief, my friend. Because this is what’s true about you.
A little bit about me…
I’m Jana. I live in a part of Canada where winter is the longest season of the year. Winter is my least favorite season. Some days, I’m really not sure why I live here. If I could just convince all my loved ones to move…
I love God, the Lord Jesus, and the grace that is freeing me. I am the wife to a wonderful husband and mother to two beautiful children – one little girl who lives with us and one child who waits for us on the other side of this long adoption process.
I’m a messy, work-in-progress trying to give up on the idea that everything needs to be perfect. The battle is real.
I love creating, laughing, dancing, warm blankets, bright sunshine and a good cup of coffee. The beach is my favorite place in the whole world. I somehow feel more free there. This blog is another favorite spot for the same reason.